i can’t see you

i

i run
my finger over
the words engraved
swirly letters of a bygone
era

                         Presented to
                         D.V. Gonder

nailed to a canadian icon remnant
of the great sea-to-sea ribbon of steel

you, my dear train, once languished as one
of a thousand trains in a far-off factory
now you rest before me treasured as one
given to Vi

i am surprised by your sturdiness the weight
of you in my hands tracks
laid down details pristine reality
reflected in the care of your maker
like the Professor’s wardrobe whose way was into Narnia
i find my path, little train, through you

ii

for three
fuzzy memories in
the dusty archives of my mind
remain filed and found

i can see
Bert   the zoo   pandas
a quiet gentle spirit resides
Dorothy   Wanasing Beach   cereal at the kitchen counter
strength of voice matched only by personality
Doris   apartment in the sky   after eight chocolates on a tray
too many forlorn visits to Bethany as you slowly
faded from this world

i can’t see
you, Vi

i can see
your apartment in the Leaside Towers, 29th floor
the tv room tucked back round the corner
the dining room with window-featured panorama
i could reach out and touch the clouds
cars below like micro machines on a playmat
i could flick them away if i wanted

you, Vi
you are just
on the periphery of my mind
the jagged edges that elude
me if only i could
crane my neck around
the corner of my mind’s eye 
catch a glimpse of you

iii

four score years
fourteen on foreign soil
Pingyao pursued by parents
devoted to the Good Lord

feet back on native land
with glowing heart began
machinist apprentice
at confederation’s binding tie
Stratford to Mimico Montreal Moncton Winnipeg Toronto

twelve roles thirty-two years
dirty overalls calloused hands blackened face
one rung at a time
three-piece suits  tie clips  pocket squares  flashing smiles
vice-president became the name

fourteen again this time on home
soil rode the rails
with dignitaries connecting
communities and commerce delivered
the keynote as guests sipped
mock turtle soup oversaw
million dollar budgets presided
over unveilings ribbon cuttings
adieu to steam hello to turbo

pomp and prestige met you like crowds
converging at union station
quintessential company man feted
farewell over
potage st. germain

behind the scrutiny of public newspaper clippings
were the untold hours devoted
to others motivated
by faith — titles flashing by
like station names on the express route
chair member   councillor   director   officer
volunteer   administrator   president
titles not the ultimate Destination

iv

oh, little train, so sturdy so solid
you ground me in place
railway ties linking lineage
my people
my blood
finding our way
                         in God
                        for the world

Oh, little train, once held
in the hands of Vi
if i dusted for prints would i
                         find you
                         find answers to my questions
                         find myself

oh, little train, disciplined details
you transport me in longing
for heaven 
                         where pain fades away
                         time stops its march
                         all is reconciled
                         the great reunion

i can’t wait to meet you again
                         D.V.

i’ve got a lot of questions
                         Grandpa

Written by Scott Moore
Illustrated by Landon Wideman

Inspired February 2020