coming back ain’t easy

today, someone
placed a snuffer above the light
of my spirit. ominous threat
of oxygen deprivation
I know nobody
can blacken my inners

as the horizon rotates
away from the warmth of light — I fall
onto my casper, conforming
to the shape of me
I pick up my pages, bring weight to my eyelids
but even mountain breathing
can’t hide — my body
is an alarm clock, residing
pit is dread

examen catches the chastened
conversations, words I say
but dare not speak
dreamt-up deleterious
dialogue that disintegrates — replays and pre-plays
loop ’round and ’round,
like a torrid Spotify stream spitting
neurons in all directions fracturing
well-worn pathways

examen takes notice of the day’s contours
as the bell-shaped breath-catcher furthered its downward course
my countenance darkened, mood entangled
the vent of my tumble-dry-low frustration unhinged
spilling onto innocent bystanders

Lord, have mercy

and then
a new playlist pierces the chaos
tracks point me one way
“don’t look in the mirror and walk away”
“do as I say”
“bruised reed not to be broken”
“smoldering wick not to be snuffed”

self-referenced is ultimately self-destructive
self-less is less travelled   less recognized  
less acclaimed   less living
in dying real
life is found

so I tell that snuffer to get
away from my light
I got some loving to do
tomorrow, everyone

Written by Scott Moore
Illustrated by Landon Wideman

Inspired April 2020